Drunks
by Jediempress
Summary: Leon and Demyx go to fetch Zack and Reno from the bar. Total crack fic, oneshot.


Thank the people smoking pot on the balcony upstairs for this. The smell has been drifting into my room for the past two hours and I think I'm getting a contact high.

Total crack. Thank the Force I don't own these guys.

Drunks

Demyx walked up to the small group uncertainly. He really did not want to come off as a clingy boyfriend but Reno was supposed to be home hours ago. The redhead had given no indication he was going to be out late.

Riku noticed him first and lifted a silver eyebrow at him. "What's up, Dem?"

The others glanced over also and the musician shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Uh, well, I was just wondering if any of you knew where Reno was. He hasn't come home yet and, uh…"

Aerith giggled. "You got worried."

Demyx sighed. "Yeah, it's stupid."

"No, it isn't," Riku assured him. "I get anxious if I don't know where Cloud is for too long."

"Yeah," Zell shrugged, mock-punching the wall beside him. "We all have those moments, man. Don't sweat it."

Even though he was still embarrassed, Demyx managed a smile. These guys knew way more about this relationship stuff than he did. He was just going to have to take their word for it.

"As for Reno," Leon unfolded his arms and pulled away from the wall he was leaning. "Last I heard he was with Zack."

"He still is," Cloud's voice joined in as he met up with the others. He walked over to Riku, wrapping the teen in his arms. After giving him a brief kiss, the blond glanced over his shoulder. "And both of them have been at Tifa's for the past two hours."

Leon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Wonderful. Have they cleared her out yet?"

"Pretty damn close."

"Come on, Demyx," Leon began the trek toward Seventh Heaven. "We need to collect those two before they do something stupid."

Demyx hurried after him, throwing a quick good-bye at the others. He fell in beside Leon, giving the man a concerned look. "You think they're drunk?"

"If they've been at the bar for over two hours, I know they're drunk; at least Reno will be." Steel eyes flicked over and Leon smirked. "Have fun with him tonight."

Demyx was not entirely sure what Leon meant by that but found himself blushing.

They reached the bar shortly after, the door of the building propped open letting the noise of loud conversation drift out. Music wove its way through the jumble of words and laughter. Something amusing was happening in there.

Leon took the lead entering the drinking establishment. Demyx was close behind and it only took a few steps in to see what was so funny. While Leon closed his eyes and shook his head, Demyx could not help but stare.

Zack and Reno stood near the bar, laughing hysterically. Zack held a nearly empty bottle of some hard liquor while Reno waved around a glass of something clear. Both had that droopy look to their eyes that indicated they were indeed intoxicated.

Even if they had not, there was no mistaking the slur to Zack's words as he began speaking. "…so the grunt starts singing…"

They both began to sing brokenly through their laughter. "_This is my rifle, this is my gun._" Both gestured vulgarly at their crotches on the word gun. "_This is for fighting, this is for fun._"

The nearby crowd burst out in applause to which the ex-SOLDIER and Turk bowed and made exaggerated thank you's to. Demyx did not want to know how much alcohol the pair had to have consumed. He had no idea is he should have been laughing or getting angry.

He looked to Leon who was scowling deeply at Zack. It was obvious what his reaction was. Demyx was not nearly as angry but he was rather upset that Reno had been out here drinking.

Zack caught sight of them and frowned. "Uh oh, busted."

Reno looked over also. "Shit."

Leon's voice was cold. "You are aware it is after midnight and there is work tomorrow."

Zack snorted. "Oh, chill out, Squall. You know I don't get hangovers. ..An' Reno here used to work all the time hung over, didn't you?"

The redhead nodded vigorously. He saw Demyx and grinned. "Hey, Dem. Come have a drink with me."

Demyx shook his head. He did not like drinking and Reno knew that. The blond found himself getting angrier at Reno. "You could have told me you were going to be here."

Zack shoved Reno's shoulder. "See? Told you you shoulda called!"

"And what's your excuse?" Leon narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Aw, come on, Squall." Zack stepped forward and tried to wrap his arms around the shorter man. Leon moved to shrug him off but Zack held tight. "Let's go home and I'll totally make it up to you."

"Doubt it," Leon snorted. He turned left the bar, Zack still draped over his shoulders.

Demyx looked after them a moment before he felt warm breath on the side of his face and a thin arm slipping around his waist. "Are you mad at me, yo?"

"Well, I'm not happy." Demyx stated in irritation.

"Sorry I didn't call." Reno's breath reeked of alcohol. "Still not too used to the whole having a relationship thing."

Demyx felt that odd little thrill he always got when reminded that he was in fact in a relationship. The anger drained away. "Just, don't do it again."

Reno chuckled and nibbled on his ear. "Let's go home and have sex."

He belched loudly on the word sex and Demyx's face twisted up in disgust as he began guiding Reno out of the bar. "We're going to go home and you're gonna throw up."

The Turk only laughed. "Eh, either way it'll be good."


End file.
